the jew-do master speaks

So yesterday was possibly the greatest day ever.

It was Tuesday so I had no class after Hebrew, I got a ride home with Uzi. I love not having to fight over cabs once in a while. Matan decided to come home too, and we decided to go to the Old City.
I haven't been to the Old City since Pilgrimage, and that wasn't really an experience of it because we had to walk around with the group and all. This was the first time I just walked around freely. The Old City is absolutely beautiful. Truly amazing. We got these two HUGE thingies of flatbread for three shekels each and sat by the stairs leading down to the Kotel and ate one of the flatbreads. Then we just walked around, it's so great. We went in the Cardo and through to the Arab Quarter. A little bit nerve-racking, but a fun experience nonetheless. This was entirely illegal because we're only allowed in the Jewish Quarter, and therefore way fun. So we went into this T-shirt stand, and on one side there are pretty T-shirts with pictures of Jerusalem and sports teams in Hebrew and stuff, then on the other side are shirts that say "Free Palestine" and there's one that says "Peace in the Middle East?!" with cartoon people laughing. There was also a T-shirt that said, "Kiss a Jewish Princess" with a picture of some feminine frog-figure in a dress. I decided it would be best not to express my boiling anger to the T-shirt guy because I was an American Jew with blonde hair in the Arab Quarter of the Old City. Then we went even deeper into the quarter to this place that sold nargilot. Matan started arguing (calmly) with the Arab kid selling them over the price, and then the kid's dad showed up and got really angry. He was like, 'You come to buy or you come to play games?" and was all mad until Matan fought it down actually bought a little nargila for 35 sheks, which is an awesome deal. I was very impressed, as I have no haggling skills. All I can do is bat my eyelashes. It usually works, though.
Then we decided it was high time we left the Arab Quarter. So we're trying to get out and we're walking for a bit (and I'm thinking: hm...I don't really remember walking this far...) and then we realize how deep we are into this crowded, kind of scary, labyrinthine marketplace. So we turned straight around and asked somebody where the Cardo was. And that's the story of how we got lost in the Arab Quarter.
Oh, and then at Erev Nativ Matan decided to tell everyone, including our staff members, that we were in the Arab Quarter and in fact got lost. So that was funny, Mike staff member gave us really dirty looks. Rule breakers, that's us.

So anyways. Then we got some really good falafel and came home. It was great weather yesterday, such a nice day to walk around, especially in such good company.

Aviva's Hebrew Language Skills Update (AHLSU): WE LEARNED PAST TENSE TODAY!!!! Shira gave us candy because we are awesome. That's a lie, she really doesn't like us because we are obnoxious high schoolers, but past tense is a big deal.

Tonight I'm either doing my 5 page for Freshman writing or going to Abbie's football game or falling asleep for 24 hours. I'm so indescribably excited for this weekend. I just want to shop and eat and watch Buffy and crash, all with Abbie. It's going to be great. This entire week, month, Nativ experience is great. I feel bad for being so happy right now, but I am. It's good.

I'm sitting in my Holocaust class. I really like this teacher. He's so intelligent. He works for Yad Vashem, he's going to Budapest next week for some "abroad work." That doesn't mean I'm going to pay attention in class, but I like him. I handed in my two midterm papers today. I started them last night. I was sitting on my bed for about three hours working on these two papers (except for a break where Abbie and Matan brought me dinner - I love you guys - and I talked to my mom for a few minutes). I finished one and did a page of the other (four pages each requirement) and finished the rest of it today.

I have two conflicting feelings at this time. I'm happy, happy happy happy, but I feel so tired. I'm probably just needing to crash. This college life takes it out of you. That's a lie, my college life is hardly difficult. I just stay up late all the time. I don't know, I'm just feeling the pull especially today for some reason. Back to the happy, though. Lots and lots of happy going on. I think I'm going to explode with happy. Mmm. Smiley face.

This weekend Abbie and I are taking one of our "we are not allowed to talk to anybody else and we will sit in Abbie's room and watch Buffy and Gilmore Girls and eat until we explode if it kills us!!" I'm so excited. We really need just a relaxy-type weekend. You know, shopping EVERYWHERE around Jerusalem on Friday (Ben Yehuda, Yaffo Street, Supersol of course, and we also want to hit the Jewish Quarter of the Old City if possible), maybe Yakar or Shira Chadasha if we feel like it on Friday night, then staying up late watching episodes and eating and girltalking. Abbie is going to purge all her sadness over Justin moving to Petach Tikvah, and I will listen and comfort and aid in the eating of num nums. We'll sleep late Saturday night and continue the Buffyfest all day Saturday, perhaps a break from our ice cream and chocolate for lunch, then right back to Buff. Ahhh. How I crave Shabbat. Why is it only Monday? Damn you, long long weeks of school.

PAPERS AVIVA HAS TO WRITE:
5 pages for Freshman Writing, due Thursday
10 pages for Freshman Writing, due three weeks from Thursday
10 pages for Talmud, due whenever the last class is
I think my Holocaust final is also an essay, but I don't really remember. I just handed in the midterm for heaven's sake.

So basically I'm just going to go write a novel. Is it bad that I haven't chosen a topic for any of these papers yet? I think I can probably expand the 5 page to 10 and use it for Talmud hopefully. We'll see.

Anyways. Twenty-five minutes left of class. I want to go home and shower and crawl into bed, I'm so falling-down sleepy. Oh, we had the text part of the Ulpan midterm today. No more midterms, at least, that's nice. Yay for tomorrow, Tuesdays are when Aviva comes home at twelve and cleans and sleeps all day until Erev Nativ.

Professor Silberklang just mentioned Molotov, and then goes, "You know, like Molotov cocktails? That's the guy." Apparently he gave lists of all the people killed in the Soviet Union, most of whom were Jews.

Look, I just took a note! Okay, time to go...fiddle on the internet some more because there are twenty-one minutes left of class, then it's arguing-for-cabs time. Boo.

I mean yay!

AVIVA STUDIES FOR HER ARABIC MIDTERM.

kubbaaye - cup
9eele- family
sadiiqa - friend
jaara - neighbor
ooda, 9urfe - room
kundara - pair of shoes
naddaara - eyeglasses
see9a - watch, hour
madrase - school

Ana kunt fi lmadrase, laaken ana ruht la beeti.
I was in school, but I went to my house.

fuckfuckfuckfuck

naar - fire
sams - sun
daar - house
harb - war
tariiq - way, road (like derech in Hebrew)
ard - land, ground
balad - village, town
riih - wind (like ruach in Heb)

Ana taaleba fi ljaam9a. Inte taaleb fi ljaam9a?
I am a student in the university. Are you a student in the university?

Who the fuck TALKS like that?

taawle - table
imm - mother
uht - sister
jamb - beside, next to
halla - now
ilyoom - today (like hayom in Heb)
bukra - tomorrow
dars - lesson
haadi - this
hunaak - there
laaken - but
9a, 9ala - to, on
la miin - whose, to whom

Fii ktaab 9a ltaawle? Lah, 9indi ktaab laaken lktaab mus 9a ltaawle.
Is there a book on the table? No, I have a book but it is not on the table.

...

BUKRA FI LMISMES!
When hell freezes over!
(direct translation: tomorrow in the apricot)

...

Sabaah ilheer yaa jaari, inte fi daarak w'ana fi daari.
Mind your own business.
(direct translation: good morning, neighbor. You are in your house and I am in mine.)

...

kbiir - big, large, old
z9iir - small, young
jdiid - new
qadiim - old (for things, not people)
baared - cold
suhun - hot
basiit - easy
si9eb - difficult
mas9uul - busy
malyaan - full
ta9baan - tired
harbaan - out of order, rotten, sour
za9laan - angry, upset
kwayyes - good, nice
mniih - good, nice
hilu, hilwe - sweet, pretty
faade, faadye - free, empty
ktiir - much, very, many
ahsan - better
soob - hot (for weather only)
bard - cold ( " " ")
mumken - possible (k'mo 'efshar' b'Ivrit)
kull - all, every, each (like col in Heb)
lees - why
li'anno - because

I just realized last week that the ethernet cord could reach my bed with room to spare, so now I am websurfing from the sweet, warm, enveloping comfort of mita sheli.

I woke up feeling incredibly under the weather. I have a sore throat and I don't think I have a fever but I feel fevery anyways. You know, hot and shaky and lightheaded. It's no fun. I couldn't pay attention in Hebrew so I came home with Matan knowing that if I was going to fall asleep I might as well do it in my own bed. I'm skipping Talmud and Holocaust. Whatever, we just had the Talmud midterm and I never pay attention in Holocaust anyways anymore. Note to self: Call Debbie and ask her to sign me in at Holocaust.

I want to go to the football game tonight but I don't know if it's a good idea. Blah, I haven't been to one in forever.

I think this whole 'skipping class' thing is like a novelty for me. I never skipped a single class in high school. No that's a complete lie. I skipped, but I always skipped with permission. For instance, I'd skip art every single day because I always did my projects in the cafeteria instead of the art room and get them done ten times faster. I'd skip shop because I'd put a coat of polyurethane on whatever I was making and then there'd be nothing for me to do the rest of the class period. I wouldn't skip drafting because that was the class where I could move ahead without feeling like a jerk cuz it's mostly an independent work class. and then of course my Independent Study for shop. Who goes to those. But like, I never straight up just didn't show up for a class, unless I was out for the whole day. Now I can skip. Am I abusing my skipping power? Supposedly if I get a doctor's note it's okay, but I'm not going to the doctor because of a cold, that's pointless. Whatever.

Okay, I am now going to go to sleep until Matan wakes me up and we eat lunch I think. Goodnight.

So the past like week and a half has been pretty downright fantastic, I should say.

Everything's sort of falling into place very nicely. Me and Shosh had the best Shabbat ever at Kibbutz Hanaton. See, we stayed at Hanaton for a week on Pilgrimage. It's almost exactly how I remember it from 2.5 years ago. It's one of the smallest kibbutzim in Israel, therefore the world. There's like five families on it altogether. So we got there and just had a really nice Shabbat and nice ShoshandAviva time. We somehow got a seven-person room to ourselves. The rooms are big and yellow and have dead bugs all over the place, but the heat works and we love to be warm so we just turned the heat on high and crawled into bed. It was soooo warm and happy. That constitutes good times for me. And we had discussion groups and whatnot, but the important thing is that Hanaton food is awesome. And on the bus ride home Shosh and I told each other our life stories, which was excellent. Oh I forgot, on the way up we stopped in the Druze village and I got totally reminiscient because we also went there on Pilgrimage. Even the same people were working in the shops. It was pretty crazy.

Today I think was my best day ever for languages. Fuck Spanish, I am absolutely in love with the Semitic languages. Hebrew and Arabic make so much sense. I know I complain about Arabic all the time but it's only hard because I don't pay attention in class. So on the way to school today I was cabbing it with Rachel and Joe, and we're all conversing in Hebrew with the cab driver. He was telling us about his gambling in Las Vegas. When he found out we knew some Arabic he started speaking to us in Arabic. And we could totally understand and respond! It was awesome.
Then, THEN, Jenny, Molly, Aaron, and I were ordering pizza, and here's how it went down: (once again, Hebrew and English because I'm so proud):

Lady: Pizza Metre, Shalom. (Pizza Metre, hello.)
Vv: Shalom, at midaberet Anglit? (Hi, do you speak English?)
Lady: Loh, efshar b'Ivrit? (No, try in Hebrew.)
Vv: Tov, ani rotzah echad v'hetzi metrim, b'vakasha. (Okay, I want a meter and a half please.)
Lady: Metre v'hetzi? Zeh harbeh. Kama anashim? (A meter and a half? That's a lot. How many people?)
Vv: Arba, lama? (Four, why?)
Lady: Meter v'hetzi zeh harbeh. Kama metrim at rotzah? (A meter and a half is a lot. How much do you want?)
Vv: *converses with Jenny* Anachnu rotzim meter v'hetzi. (We want a meter and a half.)
Lady: Beseder, mea arbayim v'arba. Mah harachov? (Okay, 144 shqalim. What's the street?)
Vv: Rachov Agron. (Agron St.)
Lady: Ha'achsanyah? (The hostel?)
Vv: Kayn. Ha Mercaz Fuchsberg, mispar shesh. (Yep, the Fuchsberg Center, number six.)
Lady: Tov, todah. (Okay, thankyou.)
Vv: Todah raba. (Thankyou very much.)

That was like the most Hebrew I've ever spoken in my life. I was so inordinately and idiotically proud of myself, still am. It's probably because I took Spanish for seven years and couldn't converse in it for shit, and I take Ulpan for three months and am decent at it.

Anyways I have to get up in like five hours. Goodnight.

I haven't done one of these in a million years, I think. Probably more like three months. Stolen from Callie.

TWO YEARS AGO::

How old were you?
16.

Where did you go to school?
Foran High

Where did you work?
I didn't work when I was 16.

Where did you live?
Milford, CT

Where did you hang out?
Cafe, mostly

How was your hair style?
Exactly the same as it is now

Did you wear glasses:
Nope

Who were your close friends?
Susan, Momo, M, Danny, Callie, all them peeps

How many tattoos did you have?
0

How many piercings did you have?
When I was 16? Probably about eight I think

What car did you drive?
The little grey thingy, it's called the Techno Drome

What was your worst fear?
I don't remember

Had your heart broken?
Nope

Single/Taken/Married/Divorced/Bitter?
Single is such a depressing word...I was in a transitional stage



LETS SEE HOW YOU ARE NOW::

How old are you?
18

Where do you work?
I don't currently, but I still hold the position of Lord of the Counter at Athen's Pizza.

Where do you live?
8 Agron St, Jerusalem, Israel

Where do you hang out?:
Boy's kitchen mostly, if I'm feeling really ambitious I'll go to Ben Yehuda

Do you wear glasses?
Nope

What is your hairstyle?
Long...and...existent?

Who is your best friend?
Andy, Matan, and Abbie

Do you still talk to your old friends?
Of course

How many piercings:
Twelve, NOT thirteen.

How many tattoos?:
0!

What is your biggest fear?
I don't know...mutant tomato attack

Have you had your heart broken?
Nope

You.
Can.
Only.
Type.
One.
Word.

No.
Explanations.

Not as easy as you might think...

1. Yourself: Aviva.

2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend: n/a

3. Your hair: Long

4. Your mother/stepmother: coming

6. Your favorite item: Horatio

7. Your dream last night: forget

8. Your favorite drink: Limonana

9. Your dream car: Lincoln

10. The room you are in: Hallway

11. Your Ex: Milford

12. Your fear: Sufganiot (Israeli donuts)

13. What you want to be in 10 years: 28

14. Who you hung out with last night: Matan

15. What you're not: Ailing

16. Muffins: Mold

17: One of your wish list items: Borat

18: Time: Tzoharaim

19. The last thing you did: Ingested

20. What you are wearing: Threads

21. Your favorite weather: Orange

22. Your favorite book: Andy

23. The last thing you ate: Traci

24. Your life: Jewish

25. Your mood: synonymous

26. Your best friend: Choco

27. What are you thinking about right now? Thesaurus

28. Your car: Grey

29. What are you doing at the moment?: Typing.

30. Your summer: Denim

31. Your relationship status: Traci

32. What is on your TV?: laundry

33. What is the weather like?: Murky


1. My ex is still...
Alive

2. I am listening to...
Andy expostulating

3. Maybe I should...
Do my Havruta work

4. I love...
Passport photos

5. My best friends...
Make me giggle

6. I don't understand...
Arabic

7. I lost my respect for...
The guy from Thankyou for Smoking...he's going to Hell

8. The meaning of my display name is...
What's a display name

9. Love is...
Molly

10. Somewhere, someone is..
"Pelvic thrusting." -care of Andy

11. I will always...
"My name is Inigo Montoya. You kill my father. Prepare to die."

12. Forever seems like..
Wiggles

13. I never want to lose...
My awesome sense of modesty

14. My mobile phone is...
Cinnamon

15. When I wake up in the morning..
system reboot

16. I get annoyed at...
tadpoles

17. Parties are...
mmmmmmmmmmmmmm

18. My pets...
Are in the singular

19. I really want...
Andy to stop lying about the fact that he owns a bearded dragon because he does not. Her name is NOT Foster because she doesn't exist.

20. Kisses are...
SHKWUFFY

21. My bf/gf is...
Traci

22. Today I..
Went base-jumping, then time for a little light spelunking, then a quick break for some lion-hunting. Then after that we all took a trip to the Amazon to battle the jaguar epidemic. Then we had tea.

That was fun. Havruta time. Goodbye!

I don't remember a single fucking word of Spanish.

Whenever I try to think of a sentence in Spanish in my head, it comes out in Hebrew. I mean this is a good thing. I've learned more Hebrew in 2 months of Ulpan than I learned in probably three years of Spanish. It's gonna be funny though when I go back to Foran and my Spanish teachers come up to me and say 'hola' and I'll say 'shalom.' Seriously, not a single damn word of Spanish in my head. Probably if I looked at a book in Spanish it would come back a bit but I have no desire to, in fact I want nothing more than to distance myself completely from the language of Sfaradit (Spanish in Hebrew.)

I booked my plane ticket home. January 12, I make my triumphant, if temporary, return to Milford. I'm excited, to sit on the couch and play with Sage and see the high schoolers and visit Foran and go to Boston and Philly and NYC, it's going to be a lot of fun and very relaxing, and at the very least it will make me happy to go back to Nativ.

Tonight's Erev Nativ, it's something army-related I think. As in soldiers are going to come talk to us about something or other, should be...time consuming. That's not true I've never actually hated Erev Nativ, it's just long and they never tell us ahead of time when it's going to end so you can't make plans.

Okay I'm incredibly sleepy for no apparent reason except going to bed at maybe 3 am and Mike knocked on my door at 8:20 this morning to go to T'fillah when in fact it ended at 8:30 and he woke me up early for nothing. Bye!

A bunch of us just watched "Thankyou for Smoking" in the moadon. I like that movie, it's amusing.

This Shabbat Abbie and I stayed at my relatives house. Megan and Philip are the parents, they're my second cousins I think. They have seven children, we only met the younger six. The oldest one was at Yeshiva the whole time.
We got in the cab to go there, and I was talking to the cab driver, it went like this (I'm putting it in Hebrew and English cuz I'm really proud of myself for speaking Hebrew.):

Aviva: Anachnu b'Mea Shearim? (Are we in Mea Shearim?) (Mea Shearim is the most famous ultra-Orthodox neighborhood, and the dirtiest)
Cabbie: Loh, b'G'ula. (No, we're in G'ula.)
Aviva: G'ula k'mo Mea Shearim? (Is G'ula like Mea Shearim? Meaning, is it an ultra Ortho neighborhood)
Cabbie: Loh, G'ula yoter tov. Effo aten garot? (No, G'ula is much nicer. Where do you live?)
Aviva: B'Rachov Agron. (Agron Street.)
Cabbie: Rachov Agron? Mah aten osot poh? (Agron Street? What are you doing here?)

We were really amused. Everyone knows Agron is in the middle of Jerusalem and completely not Ortho at all. My relatives actually live in Mattersdorf though, which is another UO neighborhood.
So, we get there and we're wearing our long denim skirts and our elbows and collarbones and tummies are covered, and the oldest girl, who is 9, says, "Are you going to change into your Shabbas clothes?" We were like fuck....of course we are! Why would we ever wear this...haha. So we put on our non denim skirts. Megan had to tell us to put on baggier shirts though, it was really embarrassing. Get this, though. I love the kids. Love them. They are related to me and therefore awesome. No they're really great though.
Yaakov is thirteen, I didn't meet him.
Eliahu is twelve. I feel like he doesn't get enough attention because there are so many other kids around. Plus he's about to be a teenager. Oh boy.
Hendel is nine and in desperate need of a big sister and less responsibility. She takes care of all the others but still loves to play. I think she is my favorite.
Moshe Laby is seven and very hyperactive and silly. He's amusing and likes to be tickled.
Meir Simcha is five and is very serious at first and then giggles and wants to be held and picked up even though he's much too big for that.
Miriam is three and is just about the most adorable thing you've ever seen. Giggly and messy and very loud, but you forgive her everything because she's just so damn cute.
Devorah is the baby, she's nine months old and has a very fat face and a very happy smile.
I had a theological discussion with Philip after the kids went to bed, even though he's not allowed to look me in the eye. I didn't really know what he was talking about most of the time, but he's so happy to be where he is in life, you can tell.
Megan was so nice, she gave us kitchen things to take back with us and she asked us about Nativ and everything. It was just really a good experience.

Even though I don't really agree with anything they stand for at all, they're my family and I love them.

Things are tense right now politically. The IDF screwed up some shelling and killed 19 Palestinians in Gaza. Hamas declared an end to the ceasefire and retaliated by shooting qassam rockets, they hit Sderot and Kibbutz Sa'ad (where we will be next semester) but nobody was hurt, thank G-d. There have been Palestinian protests around Gaza all day and Young Judea has a lockdown. We haven't gotten the telltale text message yet from Yossi that says we have to stay on base. I hope we don't. It's so much easier to be brave and go on with your life when you're allowed to live it.

An end to the ceasefire. Fuck.

That's our house. :-D Ain't it beautiful?
Yesterday = happytimes.
Alana and I didn't have any classes after Ulpan so we got home at 12:30ish. Then we went crazy insane shopping, and I am no longer allowed to spend any money, ever. But on the bright side I got a bunch of sweaters, which I needed, and a jean skirt, which every girl needs, and Israeli jeans, which are hilariously low. Remember the pregnant pants? And how low they are? Yeah, in Israel pants are NOT made to stay on your body. Creepy, but good for Aviva who likes her jeans low.

Anyways enough girlness. I'm right now sitting in Talmud, cursing myself because the teacher officially knows my name. That's bad, now he might call on me or notice if I'm not here. It's a real issue. Obv my teachers knew my name in high school, but I picked up very quickly that it's best here and in college in general if they don't. None of my teachers currently know my name, except for my Hebrew teachers.

I'm getting better at Hebrew. A little less afraid. I'm more afraid I'll screw up in front of Nativers than the native-speakers. I still don't know if I want to move up a level. It's not that the class is too easy...well it is a little. My teacher kept me after class yesterday and was like, "I know you understand everything, but you need to speak more. I'm learning Spanish, but you know what it is? It's bullshit. There's no one for me to speak to to actually learn. It's bullshit!" I was amused. I mean, she's right obviously, but the only reason I don't say anything in class is because I'm too annoyed when other people don't get it. I'm such an awful person, I get mad when people don't understand things that seem easy to me. But then if I don't get something I'd be upset if the person teaching it to me got mad. I'm a hypocrite like that. And intolerant. I'm not proud of it but I can't help it. My penchant for languages is also a curse.

Gonna go fiddle on the internet now. Oh, my room is officially the best decorate (and the biggest) room on Nativ. Shosh and I took all the flyers we could find from around base and stuck them on our slanty wall so they hang down, it gives the room so much depth. Plus I just printed 50 more pictures and hung them in my corner, so that's awesome too. I'll put up some pictures of the room soon.

Allo allo.

I just had Ulpan, I'm hanging out at Hebrew U until its time for Holocaust Study.
This morning was quite possibly a new record for me. I'm talented at getting ready for stuff quickly, but this morning was awesome. I set my alarm for 6:45, and of course I snoozed repeatedly. Then finally at 7:37, Shosh goes, "Aviva? You really need to get up." And I go, "Thanks!" and shoot out of bed and put on clothing and here I am. And I didn't even forget anything, hopefully.
Last night was Erev Banot, girls' night. It was fun, us Kibbutz girls sat in the Moadon and ate chocolate fondue and watched "When Harry Met Sally," which I'd never seen. It was good girl time. Then I hung out with Nathan and Shosh in our room, I collaborated with Nathan on a flyer he was making for a showing of "Thankyou For Smoking" in the Moadon. The flyer is hella funny, there are so many words on that freaking thing, no one's going to read it. But Nathan's going to make me a copy that I will hang on my wall. Also, Shosh and I decided to decorate our big empty wall with flyers from around Beit Nativ, we're just going to take them and stick em on the wall.

On a side note, it is FREEZING at school today, and outside. My fingers are about to fall off.

Yesterday I went to Har Herzl with Andy, Abbie, and Matan. That place always makes me sad, and it didn't help that it was cloudy and rainy and cold and we were practically the only ones there. Har Herzl makes me think about things.

Tonight I get home at six and then I'm going somewhere or other with Rich, that should be fun.

Gonna go look up flights home for vacation.

I'm in a feh mood.

Shabbat's been good so far, KabShab at Moreshet was awesome with all the Nativers there, there was a million times more ruach. I liked it better than Shira Chadasha even, it was just so much more joyful. Then we had dinner with a big activity. It took a long time but I really enjoyed it.
I never realized how go-with-the-flow I am usually. I mean I get mad easily, but if we have a program that's required, I don't get too pissed. Nativ is a program, one that I signed up for. Yeah it's college, but it's still USY. The point is that it's a transition. We have a ton of freedom. A ton. So we have to go to services twice a week. If I don't want to go, I don't get mad at whoever's telling me to go, I just don't go in general. No matter what people say I'm going to do what I want. I haven't been to morning services in a long time. But hey, if I have to go to Parashat Shevua tomorrow, that's cool. I'll deal with it. I signed up for this, I knew it was still USY and you know what? I'm only eighteen and not ready to be completely on my own. I guess not everybody feels that way.

Whatever. I'm just mad/upset about other stuff unrelated to the bureacracy.

On the bright side, Abbie and I watched two excellent episodes of Buffy tonight.
And now it's like 2 am and supposedly they're going to knock on our doors if we don't go to services tomorrow morning. Fuck that, I'll probably get up, put on a skirt, go downstairs for some Choco, then come back up and go back to bed. Or I might just go to Moreshet. Whatever, we'll see. See that? Go with the flow.

I'm not unhappy. Don't think that. I'm incredibly happy. I'm changing, but I'm still so, so happy to be here and to have these people. Goodnight!

I've been drawing a lot lately. It's that time of year, the time when I need to whip out Dad's charcoals. In about a month, it will be almost nine years.

It's funny, I lived in Portland for nine years, then I lived in Milford for nine years, now I'm in college. Where will the next nine years lead, I wonder, as that number seems to be a pattern for me.

Jenny was my babysitter and a close family friend all throughout my Portland career. My mom told me in an email. I was sitting in Rothberg staring at the computer screen for a minute, then I had to go to the bathroom for a minute to regain my composure. It was after Hebrew, but I couldn't have imagine sitting through another three hours of class with that over my shoulders. We visited her last year. She was living in Holland. When I had Easter vacation from Wychwood, we went to Holland to see her for a few days. Thank G-d we did. She was exactly the same as she had always been to me.

I was going to go out to dinner with Abbie tonight but I was too tired to walk all the way to Emek when there was free food here. I'm so glad tomorrow's Friday and I can sleep late. Closed Shabbat though, so everyone's here. I want to go to Netanya soon for some horseback riding.

I think I'm gonna go make some Kibbutz popcorn.

Hm.

Jenny died. She was 89.

I skipped school today, I couldn't handle the lectures.